What an oddity. I have never had such a sensory overload eating a piece of fruit in my life.

Hard, spiky, soft, creamy, dense, fibrous, wet, dry and sorry to say, but VERY SMELLY and unpleasant!

It’s a Durian.

I bought it in an Asian Market today. There were heaps for sale for a reasonable price and I’d only the other day watched a raw vegan food program which showed a lady casually and easily:

• pull open one of these with her bare hands (very cool)
• take out the fruit (which looked like putty)
• remark cheerfully on a ‘slight perfume’ (i.e. not raising any issues of concern)
• eat the fruit which looked like a peeled mango (who doesn’t like mangoes right?)
• and describe it as like an “almond custard”

So this experience is kinda what I was expecting. Reasonable enough right?

Everything up until “take out the fruit” went according to the image in the televisual feast. “Slight perfume“??? You damn liar (!). This was not the reality. Absolutely disgusting and stomach wrenching more like it. To be sickened this much by a fruit really sounds exaggerated and perhaps lame- it really is not. I physically had to leave the room for fear of bringing up my dinner (a cashew cheese, cranberry and guacamole salad- if you’re interested).

Before the ‘perfume’ particles (of “almonds”? I think not) hit my airspace, I took a couple of photos of Jess birthing this strange podulation from its shell…

The sharp pointy husk is actually quite soft and can be split easily and without pain.

It’s such a strange, sensory experience opening and trying one of these. I’d say just for this experience alone it is worth getting one. I’m sure there’ll be someone in your neighbourhood that will remark fondly about it’s “almond quality” and eagerly stuff it into their mouth. Perhaps you could put the spiky shell to some use in some quirky handicraft (or exfoliating glove (youch!)). Either way, it will not go to waste is what I am saying.

Right now, Jess is bagging up the remaining stinky slimy podules and she is freezing them out of my smelling range. Perhaps there is a recipe out there that I can eat without gagging.

Sorry yes, I failed to mention that Jess (who actually hates the consistency of an innocent banana) ate this fruit no problem. Slurping the horrid sulphurous paste into her mouth she remarked:

“Yes! Just like custard!”

I Googled “durian” and found out that yes, this fruit has notoriously divided reviews among people. How can one person (who will incidentally try most things without fear) literally run away from a foodstuff and another enjoy it? Funny thing was the division in taste went down to our two felines. One cat decided she wanted to get in on the durian action- actually eating out of Jess’ hands!

The other, like me, removed herself from the vicinity of yukkiness, crawled into my lap, and we looked on bemused at the two of them.

Try one… if you dare!